Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater
had a wife and couldn’t keep her.
Poor old Peter worked hard all day,
while Peter’s wife went off to play.
His old wife slept with half the town,
this made Peter feel very down.
Then one day Peter had enough
and made up his mind, he’d be tough.
Peter, Peter, devised a plan
to catch her with another man.
Sneaky Peter thought hard all day
on how to cause his wife’s dismay.
Soon Peter set the perfect trap,
but when he caught her Peter snapped.
Not yet ready for what he saw,
sad old Peter began to bawl.
Then, in rage Peter fetched his knife
and then, quite quickly, took her life.
Now Poor Peter was in a bind,
he could not leave his wife behind.
And so he dragged them both back home
and laid them on a cutting stone.
He hacked and hacked, for what seemed days
till all was left were small filets.
The pieces left just had to go,
‘fore prying eyes began to show.
He disposed of his wife’s lover,
whom they will never recover,
for he threw half into a bog
and fed the last half to his dog.
The dog feasted upon the man,
which gave him a terrible plan.
In the fray he forgot to eat,
his wife now looked a tasty treat.
He fried her up so very well,
then stuffed her in a pumpkin shell.
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater.
Had a wife, but couldn’t keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell.
And there she fed him very well.